#003 Running from the black dog.

Back in the early to mid 1990s my Dad was involved in a very serious road traffic accident. Despite seeing the accident coming and taking evasive action by parking on the layby he still came off pretty bad. Eventually he recovered but not without some ongoing pains that would hang around for the rest of his life.

Fast forward to the end the 90s and heading into the naughties my Dad then faced further health complications and was admitted to hospital. After a long stay he left hospital following a triple heart bypass operation.

Let’s now skip forward to the mid 2000s, another health complication arrives in my Dad’s life, the early stages of bladder cancer. During this time and leading up to it my Mum was also poorly, I think a lot of this may have been linked to the stress of caring for my Dad off and on over the years.

Sadly on Friday 27th November 2009 my Dad lost his battle with cancer. A few days before a good friend of mine who was around my Dad’s age also lost his battle with cancer.

In 2010 some good, actually amazing news happened for a change, the birth of my amazing son, this was so nice after so many years of bad news.

Onwards to Friday 23rd March 2012, the tragic news arrives about a very close and dear friend being killed in a motorbike crash.

On reflection all of the above are pretty big life changing events when it comes to the human coping mechanism. On reflection I feel I didn’t ever stop to grieve or reflect on all of the things that happened.

For many years I seeked various types of help and support trying to fight depression and it wasn’t until 2016 that I truly beat it after I was able to get to the bottom of the cause.

Move onto late 2016 I realised even though I beat depression it left me with some awful baggage, hiddeous anxiety and social anxiety. I hid away, I stopped going out and I stopped going to gigs (I loved going to gigs), just made excuse after excuse, some people just wouldn’t understand, I feel some still don’t.

One morning I woke up and said that’s it, enough is enough this is not going to ruin my life I want to beat this by any means possible. I went to the GP and luckily I got to see a very understanding clued up Doctor. She really understood where I was coming from and her advice, help and suggested medication was the start of what would be my road to recovery. By mid to late December I was seeing some real progress and my mind was back with me, I was able to start making some serious progress and life changing actions which I’ll write about later in my blog.

#003 Running from the black dog.

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